Sunday, November 8, 2015

27.entry: Fairy tales end when they do for a reason

“You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” - J.M. Barrie

Have you ever wondered what happened to The Little Mermaid after she married Eric, or what ever happened to the Beauty and the Beast? 

Maybe they lived happily ever after, or maybe they didn't. But like title reads, fairy tales end when they do for a reason. They always end when the guy gets the girl and all is well. But the reality is, its not. Finding somebody you like is hard enough, but keeping him or her interested is harder. They will probably break your heart, and you will end up broken. I have recently came across a blog about soul mates and stuff. And I must agree with what they wrote; ending up with a soul mate for the rest of the life would probably be to painful. Even though it will hurt and you will have a broken heart, it will get better. Because if you break new light will get in, and you will become a new person, a different person. Its their job to tear you to pieces, only so you can see what was wrong all along.

Recently it happened that more than one person broke my heart. And I know this all sounds very sissy because I am man and all, but still, it sucks. And forgetting the fact is impossible. It may happen you will end up having feelings for him or her forever, but you have to let them go. It is the best thing you can do for yourself. 

The soul mates, or best friends who have done you wrong are hard to let go, but you must. In order to grow you must move forward with or without them. Because otherwise you will be trapped in the vicious cycle of self-hate and resentment toward the other person. And it will end with mutual self-destruction. Letting go is hard, but imagine it as a balloon that you slowly let go of at the end of the day at a carnival. It goes up, higher and higher, and you see it getting smaller and smaller. After a while it disappears completely, though you might still remember it, it will no longer have affect on you.  

Some people and some loves are not meant to last, they are there to shape you and make you better. When the pain is the only thing you hold onto, its time to let go. Not all loves are the same, some are smaller, some bigger, and some stronger. And they all have one thing in common, they make you feel alive, they make you to open up and accept the good things. And the last time I checked it is still worth it. In the long run it will help you.

I have had this draft saved for a while now because I wasn't quite happy with the ending, and it finally came to me. Its alright to love people who wont love you back, and the trick is to change the way you love them. Maybe love them as friends, as people who will challenge you in life to be greater and better or love them from afar. I wont drown myself in hate or pity, its just not healthy. Its time I moved on and change the way I love you. 

So yes, fairy tales end up at some point, but we live on, and be careful what kind of fairytale you are walking into. The real thing begins when the curtain drops and the spectators are all asleep.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

26.entry: All Saints Day - All Loss, No Gain?

“When do you think people die? When they are shot through the heart by the bullet of a pistol? No. When they are ravaged by an incurable disease? No! It’s when… they are forgotten.” 

In light of the All Saints Day I would like to write about loss and love and how do deal with it. 

The 1st of November is the day, when the masses enter cemetery to light the candles for the loved ones, for the ones they have lost. Its become a social gathering of lost souls and grieving hearts. Losing someone you love is hard, and dealing with such a loss is even harder. It feels like your heart is breaking all the time and your chest is torn open. And even if we can get over the physical pain, there are also mental issues. How do you deal with loss of somebody that meant everything to you for so long? You don't. Maybe you miss them a little bit less with every day that passes, and after years, you think of them from time to time. But you never really forget them. Its impossible to forget a part of your heart that lived in somebody else for so long. But you have to realize, that its OK to always remember them. Because, being forgotten, is what it means to truly die forever. 

So to all of you who have lost somebody, its alright to hurt, it will pass over the time. The truth is, time does heal wounds, all of them. Time makes rocks crumble to sand, kingdoms fall under it, and we are no different, we perish, as all things do. But that shouldn't make us sad. It should empower us to use the time we have, to make a difference, to make something of ourselves.

I, as well, have to remind myself all the time to be positive and to keep on moving forward. Chances are that goodbyes are not going to stop, and we cant live in fear of the next goodbye. And it still stings when that time comes, and we will always be reminded of what we have lost. But the trick is, we need to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing, when its a chance to start again. 

We need to keep moving forward, we owe it to people we have lost and to ourselves. We have to remember them for all the good they brought into our lives and keep on loving them. Because that love will lift us up, it will inspire us. Its like you are always carrying them with you and they are quietly whispering to you to go that extra mile, for them, and for yourself.

The thing is; yes you will cry a river of tears, and you will break apart. But tears cleanse and breaking apart means rebuilding into something better, stronger. So don't be afraid to feel the loss of somebody, but also don't be afraid to remember them forever, and love them forever. Love, no matter, big or small, good or bad, it will show us the way out of the darkness. 

To be honest, I hate talking about death and dying, but in the end, its is a natural part of life, and there is nothing we can do about it. We can only accept it and make the most of the time we have been given. We live as we have all the time in the world, chasing paper and rainbows. But the time will come to an end for every single one of us, and when it does, only the happy memories will matter. Think of it like that; Would you live differently if you knew you had only 4920 days left? Would you spend your time differently? 

I wanted to talk about remembering the dead and dealing with loss, but the topic of time side-tracked me, well kind of. Anyways all things come to an end, but that doesn't mean they were bad, just normal. It matters how you deal with the end and the loss, and what you take from it. As I keep on saying all over my blog, it really doest matter what is your perspective on life and things in general. So, think positive, and in the darkest times, keep the light on, we all need a little motivation sometimes. 

I am not religious or anything, but I do wish all good for everybody that is dealing with loss. And remember to keep on moving forward. 

XX, Anze