Wednesday, July 23, 2014

23.entry: A Slap in the Face

"The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies."

Ok so it has been a while. And I am writing again, more pissed then ever. Well just lately I have been involved in so many situations where I had been slapped in the face, figuratively.
I don't get it. What on earth am I doing wrong?
So I have been working my ass off at home and everywhere basically. I always put my heart, my soul and my body into everything I do. And call me stupid, but sometimes I expect something in return. I expect the people closest to me, would to do the same for me as I do for them. But as of lately I have noticed that's not the case. All I get in return is a slap in the face and a fuck you. Am I expecting to much? Should I really get on terms with the fact that I am alone in this world and that at the end of the day I am the only person who would do anything, everything for me? I don't want that to be the reality. Honestly I still have too much hope in humanity to believe there is nobody who would give back to me, what I give out. 

Karma is the ultimate bitch here I would say. They always say, if you do good, good will come to you. Well no offense life, but I am still waiting for that good to come. At least a hint hint wouldn't hurt. Anyways I had to complain about that, It just sucks, sometimes. That people closest to you, can hurt you the most. I mean, I wanna say, if they are the closest ones, why would they wanna hurt you at all. And even when you tell them, its like whatever. I mean how can you go from there. Who do you have to become? What do you have to change inside to survive and thrive?
Honestly, sometimes I just wanna fold up and stop. And stop thinking and move somewhere and start a new. That's all. I am done for the day.

So to learn from what I have experienced. Even when times get dark and hard. Know that there are people for you, sometimes you just need to reach out and somebody will be there to catch you. If not, you can catch yourself. You are your own biggest fan anyway, and you are the one who will lose to much. So keep on being the better person. I will keep on going and I will keep on doing what I do, at 150%. I just need to believe someday, sometimes, a person will notice and will be willing to do the same for me.